soooooo pissed off

i am so mad right now. my husband who i am also pissed at at the moment is on unemployment and since day one they have screwed him. we have been waiting for his last payment so we could christmas shop. a lousey 500 bucks for our storage payment some laundry soap and christmas dinner foods then christmas gifts. but no no no. today we got the paper he mailed in back. supposidly he messed it up. so now no money no christmas dinner no presents from santa  for our son and no storage payment. we have lost everything weve owned over these last few years and now we are losing the rest. not to mention we have not been able to pay car insurance and i received a letter from dmv saying my registration will be suspended. just a perfect start to a new year. i try to vent to my husband that its going to take forever to get the money because of all the days off for the holidays. but he says to me that he probably screwed it up because i was talking then too. so now i talk to much and im upset he said that and he gets mad because im pissed at him. im so tired of life shitting on us.

its raining.....its pouring....i love it

the rain is pouring down hard right now and im loving it. all lights are off except the red white and blue of the christmas tree. im watching pride and prejudice while the hunners sleeps. we were at the er from 2am til 630 due to him being naughty and eating what he shouldnt since he has gal stones. though the er doc said his gal bladder wasnt enlarged or inflammed and they couldnt see the stones. i was surprised because 2 months ago we were told he had some rather large stones and a bunch of sludge. so home we came with zoloft and norco. hes been in bed all day and thats ok because ive never seen him cry because of pain.
while out at wal mart with my mom to get the hunners meds a little boy got lost from his mom and walked by at least 2 employees who did nothing. i was enraged. another woman reached him before i did and took him to the operator to page him mom and i went to speak to a manager. first thing i told her was i know its not the employees responsibility to babysit but when a child walks by crying for their momma at least ask the child if they are lost and help them. i have been in the same store when they called a code adam for a lost child and closed down the store until the child was found. she went and spoke with the two employees  and apologized to me.
next topic..... im a hypocrit... i hardly post in either of my blogs but it drives me crazy when the blogs i follow dont have updates every few days. its because i  read these heart wrenching blogs and need to know whats happening. i know some people have viewed my blogs but nobody has left a comment and thats ok. i just dont think anyone follows my boring blogs and nothing is going on so i dont have anything worth posting. also posting from my phone sucks. i cant use caps or exclimation points or anything other then a period.. very frustraiting.... ok laters

Looking for work

The Hunners and I are at the Library once again looking for jobs. He has a better time of it because he has more experience in areas where there are jobs available. I am going to go by the Career college by the mall to see if they are finally signing students up since they never called me back. I am also going to go to the school districts and apply there. Even if the hunners gets a job it has to pay a good amount for us to get into a place.So I really need to have more then just child support coming in! i have hooked up with three temp services but have not had any leads at all and they basically told me it's because i dont have a lot of history. I have spent most of my life working as a day care provider from my home. So that isnt a lot of work history for what I am looking for now. Our son has a semi formal winter dance tomorrow and I need to get his nice clothes washed tonight for him. It will be nice for him. The do a dance once a month and it's only $5 a pop and they have snacks too. He has gone to 2 already and he has had a really good time at them both so I have high hopes for tomorrow as well. I just wish we werent so broke. Oh well. Had a nice lunch with the hunners today at the mall and then went to See's candy where he bought me a candy that i love but can't spell, (bordoux??) That was our splurge for the week. We are waiting for his next unemployment paper to come in so we can mail it out. But we were already told he cant send it in til Sunday and we may get the payment 2 or 3 days before Christmas! Good thing we did shopping ahead of time. We are doing cake Saturday for Joshua but we dont have anywhere to go where we can invite his friends to come. It sucks! Next year I am doing a summer party for him so we can actually have a party! Ok well My time is almost up on the computer! Laters

Finally a job but its making me sad!

My husband decided not to have gal bladder surgery so we decided he needed to look for a job since he has more job history then I do and he usually finds a job rather fast when he starts looking. Well he no longer wants to do security so he applied to do another truck driving job, flatbed trucks. I couldnt help but cry when he told me that a woman called him back and told him he could go to their school as soon as this weekend. We decided that this weekend was too soon since we didnt have any money to send him out with. They provide lodging, breakfast and lunch but that is only while he is doing training and not the over the road training. She said something about him making $375 while training but that he has to be a security fee of $25 a day so that takes $175 off of that pay so he will be making $200 a week, that is just over what he is getting for unemployment and if that is the case he might as well just stay home. He will need to use that money for feeding himself between paydays so there will be no money to send home for us to get an apartment. He is going to call them back today to get more details but that is if his mom comes. She is on her way but it takes time to get here from downtown. We also just found out from his little brother who shares an apartment with her that she is doing drugs again, we dont know if this is true since he has not seen her do it but the signs are all there as well as her friend telling their son she is doing drugs. Man its freezing in the library today! Ok I am gonna go for now! Have a great day!

Mind Your Own Business!

I got upstairs to my mom's this morning and when i went to wake up my son for school I found an envelope for my mother from my sister. My Husband and I are sleeping in our van right outside their complex so that we can still spend as much time with our son as possible and also we keep our food their and shower there, so we are only 'homeless' at night. Anyway I knew there was going to be something about us in this letter. Finally my mom got up and read the letter and handed me each page after she read them. 3 pages front and back! Ok first off my husband and I had to be out two days before Thanksgiving and that time was given to us because my nephew was going to be coming to visit after he graduated from the Marine Corp boot camp. This was understandable. It also wasn't a big deal at the time that we started staying with them because my husband was working! We were not planning on being their longer then it would take us to find an apartment. Well he lost his job and we found out he needed surgery shortly after. Anyway my mom has been trying to get us to stay upstairs instead of sleep in the van. I dont know if I have said this before but my mom is super duper hard of hearing. Her last remaining ear drum is super damaged and she wont take the steps needed to get her a hearing aide, so even though i explained to her the situation of our staying there and sleeping in the van she still choses to interfere. So last night after we went to the van she asked my sister why we couldn't stay since my nephew never came to visit after gradutation? I was mad that she asked because I know how my sister is. We are not close at all but that's not a big deal anymore. The things that made me mad is my sister started say things in the letter that were not right. She knows our mom is a messy person, I am not a neat freak either but if I drop something on the ground I pick it up and I am a lot neater when I am at someone elses house. My mom makes some toast or a sandwich and she leaves crumbs all over the place, yet my sister is saying that she noticed the entire time we stayed up stairs that our living area's were messy and that we used all the dishes and my mom was the one washing them. OH MY GOSH!!! My mom will use almost every dish before washing them. She is one person and she isnt fat like we are but she eats more then we do and she eats like every hour! I love my mom and I am thankful my sister let us stay there when she did but the times she didnt have her own place she had her sister and friends to help her out. It was just her. I have my husband and my son. The times I let my sister live with  me after she was evicted by the same landlord I had he told me not to let them move in but I did. she was there with my nieces a lot longer then 2 months. She was saying in this letter how there are programs out there to help us and that I am making excuses when I say I wont take my son out of his school. He has self esteem issues and has had bullying problems in the past and he is doing well in his school and I am not willing to make his life any harder then what it has to be. She also mentioned that if we can play video games and play on the computer we can get jobs. Ummmmmmm no SHIT! We have both been looking for jobs but the phone she so graciously put out in the living room for us to use is no longer available since she didn't pay her bill!!! So hey no phone number no call backs for jobs! DUH!!! We would have our cell on if The Hubbys Unemployment wasnt suspended! Oh and i am not saying she is responsible for us not at all but she was the one who said she would lend us the money to keep our cell on in the first place then instead of saying no she couldnt afford to do that she just put the house phone in the livingroom. Every morning we folded up our blankets and kept a sheet on the bottom and the back of the couch because I have psoriasis a skin disease that causes a lot of dry and shedding skin, I didn't want to have to constantly vaccum the couch, she never sits in the living room anyway. We also had to clean her cats liter box because she wont do it with people sitting on the  couch or chai, and when we aren't there she wouldnt do it because out stuff was close. REALLY please what a bunch of crock! We have been out of their since the day before Thanksgiving and the liter box is disgusting! She had said she cleaned it out every morning! Uh yea no! even before we moved in over there and would go visit my mom it was usually always nasty! I just don't understand people. If she has something to say to me then she should say it to me. I didn't ask my mom to say anything to her and I wouldn't. We are uncomfortable sleeping in the van but who cares, we put ourselves in this situation by not having any savings for the unknown and that's our problem, to me being homeless isnt supposed to be fun or easy. We are doing the best we can regardless of what she or anyone else thinks. It's easy to say what other's are not doing when they are not the ones doing it or going through it! Later

Homeless Kinda Sorta!

So The Hunners and I have been sleeping in the van at night. It's not so bad. Ok so it's really not comfortable. Especially getting up to go to the bathroom! Wow It's usually freezing outside and nice and warm at my mom's house. Our son is up stairs with my mom thank God! If he had no place to go I would have a broken heart because he would be going to live with his Bio Dad even though My Son Doesn't want to ever go visit him again (his words not mine). The Hunners and I are job hunting and have been, but now we have no phone number to put on job applications. Unemployment suspended his checks because of a workshop he had to do which we suposidly go the letter for in 2012! They gave no notice of 'if you don't do this by a certain day we are cutting you off ' we went to the supposid one stop edd office in El Cajon and was told 'oh we don't offer that here' but they do at the EDD in South San Diego! Because of the holidays he has to wait until Next Friday to do the workshop and the woman who told us he was suspended told him he would have to reapply! REALLY??? But they are still sending him the slips to fill out for payment! Then we get a letter saying if he still qualifies for unemployment after his payments are over he will get substancially larger weekly payments in this extension program. So Who knows what will happen after he does his workshop! We just need $50 to turn our crappy bout to bust cell phone back on so we can go back to job hunting! I go to EDD to take advantage of their programs on Monday as long as I am one of the first 14 people in line I will get in. If not then I have to try again on Thursday. The Hunners is taking Our Son to school so he will miss out on it this week. Hopefully I will get in this week then next week I will take Our Son to school so The Hunners can stand in line to get in. OK well that's it. I could go on about how my mother is driving us all insane but that won't help anything. I am here to relax. HAHA. Laters

Tears

Watching the end of this movie and it was about an African American teen moving in with a white family after his Aunt died. He was a part of their family they all loved each other. The Grandfather who was a little old school was a hard piece of work and not until the end when the teens mom had finally decided to come get him and take him away from his 2nd family did the Grandpa run after the car and tell the teen to always remember he had a home there with them that he was family now. I balled my eyes out in fact I am still crying. Yes it was sweet and could have been a tear jerker but I feel I am crying because I still don't have a home of my own. I feel since my Grandma died so long ago that I was on my own. As long as she was alive she was home and if I needed a place to go I could go back home. Being technically homeless these past 3 almost 4 years has been really hard. I just hope and pray that soon, really really soon we find our home. A place where we can set up as ours and not have to worry about when we are going to be kicked out by some psycho redheaded home owner, or wonder if the over priced weekly rent will get paid! When we lived at the motel rent was over $1500 a month! Now there is an apartment right across the street from our son's school and its a one bedroom for $800! More then likely they want us to make double or triple the rent regardless if we can afford to pay $800 a month just fine since the Hunners gets his Unemployment and me getting Child Support and a little big of cash aid for a few months. I am going to look it up and call them. Wish me luck and pray for us if you believe!
Later