True Heart Break

I was always worried that this would happen and tonight he admitted it. I am glad he has because it must have been weighing on his mind and his guilt for a long time. My son, who I love most in this world, has admitted that he is embarrassed by me and his dad. He see's how the other kids look at us and has heard others kids say things after we have walked by like "Oh My God Look How Fat They Are!" And "Look At Her Skin, What Is It?" and other things he didn't want to tell me. He started to cry and he said he felt so bad. I cant be mad at him, these are honest feelings. I asked if he loved me and he said yes, then I asked if he loved his dad and he said yes. So I told him the truth, that as long as he loves us it doesn't matter. He gets jealous because other kids parents can run around with them and play with them and other active things. He see's that they are skinny and fit and the other kids don't say mean things about them. I held in my tears until we were done watching our t.v show and then kissed and hugged him goodnight and quietly cried in the bathroom. It would hurt him beyond measure if he seen how hurt I am and I can't do that to him. He has had to do without his whole life because of my weight. My psoriasis has been an issue for me since I got it after being severely sun burned when I was 12. It didn't come in until I w as 15 and spread due to a shot the first dermatologist I seen gave me. But it is bad and covers most of my body. So add that to my super morbidly obese body and I am a side show freak.  I will try even harder now to lose weight and do what I can to cover my skin, but unfortunately my face and ears and hands are pretty much covered. My insurance sucks and I can not afford to pay for humeria which clears me up really good. So I can only really work on my weight and pray that a miracle happens. I love the show Extreme Weight Loss with Chris Powell and have thought to write a letter to him for me and my husband. My son and I was watching and he asked me to please write a letter because he wants us to be healthy. So I told him that maybe he should write a letter and pour out all of his feelings in it and I wont be mad about anything he says. That is what started his tearful confession tonight. If I thought I had a chance to be chosen out of the hundreds of people who write to him I Would do it in a heartbeat. But I dont have that kind of luck. OK Its getting really hard to see through my tears. 
Later.